if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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