Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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