It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize