home. puking in laundry basket.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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