Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
