Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
