Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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