Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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