That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
