I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize