honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
