He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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