Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize