is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
