It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
