im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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