# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
