Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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