He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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