I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
