Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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