all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
