i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
