Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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