I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize