We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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