in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
