I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
