Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
