So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
