Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
