I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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