Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
