The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
