I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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