When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
