im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
