farters have to be the big spoon...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
