I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize