guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
