Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
