i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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