Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
