Who did Billy Mays play for?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
