everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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