Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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