i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
