I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
