dude i'm inner monologue high
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
FUCK WHALES
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
