he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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