As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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