Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.

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(415): View more from California

sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night

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(682): View more from Texas

I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.

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(678): View more from Georgia

i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.

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(303): View more from Colorado

YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES

(1-303): View more from Colorado

YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..

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(678): View more from Georgia

You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter

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