Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize