I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
