FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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