she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
