She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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