____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
