Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
