you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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