ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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