I think my fart just growled at me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
