New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
