what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
