On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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